When It Rains, It Pours

Posted on August 4th, 2015

When it rains, it pours.  Unless of course you live in Los Angeles in which case it drizzles four times a year and sends the already terrible California drivers into a tail spin.  I think the only other time it “rains” in sunny southern California is when a sprinkler is set off by too much blunt smoking from my neighbors down the hall.  This of course also could be from the fire alarm I pull to amuse myself from time to time but that is neither here nor there.  I dare those stoners to remember it otherwise.  Case closed.

With so much sun in my eyes it’s pretty hard to see where the next step is in the world of BK.  I am sort of feeling it out these days as I have recently been told I am surely going to give myself a heart attack if I keep going at the rate I am going.  What I believed to be some indigestion brought on by too much beer ended up really being severe chest pains from the good ol’ world of stress.  This I found out of course by going to the doctor after much nagging from my loved ones and I sort of dazed out after he made a mean suggestion that I “slow down”.  Umm.  SLOW DOWN?  And here I was just ramping up for my presidential campaign.  I mean, I figured it was my time to take on the world in a whole new way.  What better than to run for office?  Apparently however, my body does not appreciate the way I am “running it into the ground”.  (The doctor’s words, not mine)  The suggestion I received was to “relax”.  I stared at gentle Dr. O (his last name is so complicated I spared you) and asked him what the hell relax really meant.

Let’s review.  I work my 9 to 5.  I can’t give that up because well, I figure a roof is important.  When I get home, the grind continues on what I am actually passionate about.  Music.  This of course runs sometimes well into 4am and then back on the grind the next day.  Where was this “relax time” exactly?  His suggestion you ask?  Slow down and take on just one task a day.  WTF????  Is this guy serious?  In order for me to keep the roof, make the albums, connections and shows, while working on my presidential campaign, I think one task a day will ensure that I fail on all counts.  Failure is NOT an option.  That isn’t going to work for me.  I realized right then that the “O” in my docs last name really must have stood for Optimist and not Opportunist as I had hoped.  I also realized he would never succeed in the entertainment business.  One task a day.  Pfff.  Yeah, right.

So I left the office that day and called my mother.  I explained casually that if I push any harder I may end up in the morgue and her response was simply “I think you get that from me”.  Hmm.  I am guessing a thank you was not the proper response back to this.  Thanks to you mom, I am going to perish earlier than expected if I don’t “relax” and execute only “one task a day”.  Swell.  I then asked her (since she clearly was an expert) on what I should do.  Her response?  “Not sure babe but you have to try to slow down.  You won’t be able to do anything you want if you keep going like this”  IS ANYONE LISTENING TO ME?  I won’t be able to do what I want if I don’t SPEED UP.  Slowing down is NOT an option.  That pretty much ended that conversation.

Now I realize that there are individuals who come home, cook dinner and sit in front of the tube decompressing from the rough work day.  I realize there are many that cannot comprehend the word “work-o-holic”.  But after this experience I have realized, that’s precisely what I am.  BK is a complete and undeniable work-o-holic.  I had no idea how to even start the process of slowing down when my mind is always telling me that I am behind.  Friends of mine could tell you that even getting me to sit down for longer than 30 straight minutes is nearly impossible and I wonder often if they take bets with each other on how long any of them can get me to sit still.  I wonder if I can get in on that betting somehow.  I could sure use the money for my campaign.. (rubs chin)….Anyhow, something had to be done because the chest pains were increasing and my breathing had started to change into something more like a wheeze.  This was not only incredibly painful but it was definitely not going to work for the presidential speeches I was preparing.  Time to change things up….

This leads me to now.  Today, I am working very hard on finding a balance.  (I sit for exactly 30 minutes a day)  This proves more complicated than I can handle on a number of occasions, especially when opportunities present themselves.  Do you really expect me to say no?  Of course not.  And I wouldn’t.  After all, if you know me, BK don’t play.  The entertainment business calls to me and it just may be the death of me, both figuratively and literally.  I know it seems wicked to joke about my health like this but truthfully, it’s hard to be told to slow down when you feel like speeding up.  Ask any race car driver and they will confirm.  If you can’t find one, a meth addict is a close second.

My point in all of this is I am wondering if it is really possible to find a true balance.  One where I am not feeling like I am giving up all the things that I want in my life and I am still getting what I clearly need.  As the years pass I realize that I am no longer the youngster that I used to be.  There.  I said it.   In order to make it another decade I need to recognize my limitations.  Therefore I have decided to resign from my political adventure and have pulled out of the presidential campaign (this round).  I have regrouped and refocused my attention back to music and intend to defy Dr’s orders to “relax” and push harder than ever!  So, get ready for the BK live band tour, sponsored by (insert some beer brand here) coming to a town near you.  I didn’t come into this game to lose.  I came to play.  So let the games begin!  One task down, 25,000,000,000 to go!  Thanks Dr. O.  And thank YOU mom for proving how strong genes and development can really be.

Oh, and to Carly Rae Jepsen, I won’t be calling you EVER.  This I promise you.  Not even if I just met you.  So leave me the hell alone!  I think you need to get your head together.  I have a great doctor if you need one.  He is a real ‘O’ptimist.  I think you both would get along nicely.  Plus, I am positive he would give you his number.

’till next time…